在進入雪雁（snow goose）的春季棲息地之前，我在自己的記憶中尋訪她的信息。
我首先感慨人的一生原不過是渴望被愛的一生，也是這個渴望不斷被折斷或失敗的一生。
每個心靈都渴望愛與被愛，表明我們的確是從神來的，我們需要神的愛。
人生失愛，則表明我們並沒有向神尋找愛。世界上的一切愛情不過是捕風。
人間的愛從根本上說就是為演繹存在的悲劇。
文學編織的愛情悲劇，宣告了心靈與愛情悲劇故事的同歸於盡。在這方面，紅樓一夢是中國的愛情經典。
然而雪雁在那裡不過是黛玉身邊微不足道的陪襯。如果神不在場，
普普通通的生命甚至被愛情悲劇邊緣化，這是愛的荒涼和荒誕。
在西方，關於雪雁的淒美的愛情故事，是美國作家Paul Gallico (1897-1976)撰寫的，出版於1940年。
中國畫家何多苓將這個故事的悲劇力量演繹給中國讀者。人在世上找不到愛。愛的時候已經彼此永絕。
1.英格蘭北部沿海，有一大片沼澤。這裡廣袤，荒涼，只有一座廢棄的燈塔，顯示出曾經有過人的蹤跡。
2.1930年春末，一個年輕人來到這裡。畸形的身體使他遠離了社會。 沼地迎接了他。
3.菲利普.雷亞法爾師專畫鳥類和大自然的畫家。他住在燈塔裡。他還有一艘16英尺長的小帆船。
4.他是所有鳥兒的好朋友。從此，沼澤上的野鳥們找到了避難所。
5.他偶爾在附近的鎮上露面，拿幾幅畫換日用品。這些畫贏得了喜愛。他們背地裡叫他「住在燈塔裡畫畫的怪傢伙」。
6.三年來，從未有人來看望他。然而有一天，一個女孩抱著一隻白色大鳥，卻生生地向燈塔走來。
7.「什麼事，孩子？」那個「怪人」的聲音低沉而又慈祥。「它受傷了，先生。他還活著嗎？」女孩膽卻地問。
8.好奇心使女孩忘記了恐懼。他看著畫家給這只被獵人打傷的加拿大雪雁做手術。
9.雪雁睜開了圓眼睛，女孩高興地笑了。「這樣歡迎一位客人真是太殘酷了！」 畫家說：「不過它就會好起來的。」
10.女孩要回去了。「你叫什麼名字，孩子？」「弗麗絲。」「你——你明天再來看看它好嗎？」弗麗絲遲疑地點點頭。
11.仲冬時節，雪雁已經能走動了。弗麗絲常來看望它。他不再害怕菲利普了。
12.第二年初夏，北去的大雁起飛了。雪雁的叫聲更是清楚，響亮，似乎在向他倆告別。
13.雪雁離開後，弗麗絲就不再到燈塔了。夏天裡，菲利普根據記憶畫了一幅畫。
14.十月的一天，秋風淒厲，海濤洶湧，菲利普聽見一聲高亢的鳴叫;一隻白色大鳥夢幻般從天而降。
15.他立刻到鎮上找到女郵局長：「請告訴弗麗絲——她住在漁村——雪雁回來了。」
16.三天後，弗麗絲羞澀的來到燈塔。她的個子長高了許多。
17.一年又一年，雪雁飛來又離去。弗麗絲漸漸長大了。
18.1940年春，第二次世界大戰的炮聲打破沼澤地的平靜。五月的一天， 他倆站在防波堤上，目送最後一群大雁起飛。
19.雪雁展開巨大的翅膀，像一個白色的精靈在他們的上空盤旋。
20.「快看，菲利普。」弗麗絲驚喜地叫起來「它飛回來啦！」
21.「它不走了——這就是它自己選擇的家。」菲利普的聲音有些顫抖，眼裡閃著異樣的光。
22.一種從未有過的感覺在弗麗絲心中掠過。她驚慌慌地低下頭， 「我——我要走了。它留下了，你不再會孤獨了。」
23.弗麗絲遠遠地回過頭來，菲利普依然訂立在防波堤上。她似乎聽見一聲低語：「再見，弗麗絲。」
24.。。。。。。
25.三周後的一天傍晚，弗麗絲又來到燈塔。他發現小船點起了出海的燈：「菲利普，你要離開這裡？」
26.畫家激動地告訴她，一支英國軍隊被德國人困在海峽那邊的敦刻爾克。
「這一次我總算能作為一個男子漢盡一份力了。」
弗麗絲第一次發現他並不醜。
27.「我要跟你去。」菲利普搖了搖頭：「瞧這小船，你去了就要少帶一個士兵。你照看鳥兒好嗎？」
28.弗麗絲呆呆地望著暮色中的大海。她看見一個白色的影子跟著小船飛去。「保佑他吧，雪雁。」
29.幾天後，在倫敦的小酒館，有些剛從敦刻爾克撤回來的官兵，談起了一個神秘的駝背矮人。
30.他駕著一條小帆船，冒著德國人的轟炸，
往返於營救艦與海灘之間。 兩天兩夜裡，一隻白色大雁始終叫著在他頭上打圈。
31.最後撤離的人看見那條彈洞纍纍的小船飄在海上。
那隻大雁守在船頭， 直到小帆船沉沒才飛走。
弗麗絲並不知道這些。她只是等待，等著。最後他聽見天空傳來熟悉的叫聲。
33.那叫聲直扑打著她的心，她彷彿聽見那個靈魂在呼喚：「永別了，我的愛。」
34.弗麗絲望著雪雁。她的心在回答：「菲利普，我愛你。」
35.雪雁低低地飛著，哀鳴著繞燈塔迴旋了一大圈，然後沖天而去。
36.後來有一天，一架德國轟炸機把燈塔當成了軍事目標。這座古老的燈塔從這片沼澤地上消失了。
附錄：
『The Snow Goose』 by Paul Gallico by Arnold Blaise
In 1940, The Saturday Evening Post carried a short story by Paul Gallico (1897-1976), who had begun his career as a sports reporter but who, in 1936, had moved to England and started writing fiction. In 1941, the story was published by Alfred A. Knopf as a slim novella of some fifty pages and was Gallico』s first major success as a fiction writer, being reprinted several dozen times in succeeding years. It was also Gallico』s only critical success, although he went on to write the hugely popular 「Mrs. 『Arris」 series, as well as The Poseidon Adventure. The Snow Goose was, in Gallico』s words, 「a once in a lifetime happening for a writer.」
The story of The Snow Goose is a variation on the ageless myth of a man whose physical deformity prevents most people from seeing his underlying admirable character. It begins in 1930, and is set on the east coast of England. Philip Rhayader, an artist in his late twenties, is a hunchback with a crippled left arm. Rebuffed by society, he retreats to the desolate marshland by the sea, where he lives in an abandoned lighthouse. There he paints the marsh and the wildfowl that inhabit it, and provides a sanctuary for birds over the winter before they migrate north in the spring.
One day, three years after Rhayader had come to the lighthouse, a young girl named Frith, no more than twelve, comes to seek him out. Carrying an injured bird in her arms, she approaches the lighthouse timidly, for she is frightened of its strange inhabitant, but she has heard of his reputation for taking care of the marsh』s wildlife. Rhayader tends to the bird, and tells Frith it is a Canadian snow goose, blown off course by a violent storm. Frith visits the lighthouse often to see the bird, but after it flies north in the spring, her visits stop. And Rhayader』s loneliness returns.
In mid-October the snow goose returns, and Rhayader is overjoyed. He sends a message to Frith, who again comes to the lighthouse during the winter months. And so the cycle repeats: when the snow goose returns, Frith resumes her visits; when the snow goose leaves, her visits stop.
Nonetheless, though the bird is the catalyst that brings Rhayader and Frith together, their relationship develops beyond it: they sail in Rhayader』s boat, and he teaches her the lore of the marsh. Over time, the snow goose』s stays at the lighthouse become longer and longer. By the spring of 1940, it becomes clear that the bird will leave no more. What of Frith, now a young woman?
The spring of 1940: Britain is enlisting small, private craft in a desperate attempt to evacuate hundreds of thousands of Allied soldiers from the beaches of Dunkirk, where they have been trapped by the German invasion of Belgium and France. Rhayader is determined to add his small boat to the attempt: 「For once-for once I can be a man and play my part.」 He sails across the North Sea and successfully rescues many soldiers, ferrying them to boats in deeper water, while Frith watches over the birds at the lighthouse and awaits his return.
Beautifully written in simple, lyrical prose, The Snow Goose is a moving story about love and courage, with an ending that is unforgettable.
你也可以通過GOOGLE找到這篇小說的原文來閱讀。我以前不知道為什麼讀這篇短文也會流淚，現在我慢慢明白了。今天，望斷那只雪雁，你是否聽見了她從雲層之上返回的信息……